“Give a man a mask and he’ll tell the truth” is an Oscar Wilde quote I heard on the radio today.  I used to blog prolifically and then I had a third child and got out of the habit from sheer exhaustion and busy-ness (and smart phones getting smarter and more distracting!).  I feel like I need to find my voice again in order to find my mind again and work out what I want from life.  I struggle to speak out loud about this stuff and my blog was my way of articulating it and making sense of it all.

But also my blog was my word.  It was my version of what had happened to me and not other people’s interpretations or slants on those events.  It was how it happened from my perspective; how I’d lived that moment.  One thing I’ve learnt in the last few years is that truth is never pure and rarely simple, to quote Oscar Wilde again.  Another thing I’ve learnt is that what is someone’s truth changes over time.  Versions get rewritten and they tell themselves something so often that it becomes their new truth.  Whereas my truth was written down as it happened and doesn’t get distorted over time.

A decade ago, I had a sharp memory.  Age, hormones, exhaustion and inability to focus on anything these days has changed that for the worst.  When people tell me the opposite to my memory, I can no longer be sure.  Living in that doubt is horrible.  There have been so many instances recently, but one is of particular relevance to the mental torture I’m currently going through and then I remembered I’d blogged about the incident years ago.  I dug the blogs out and now I am no longer doubting my mind but I’m really hating my husband and my life 😦  

It’s also why I’m going to start recording stuff again as I can’t trust my mind to remember and I can’t trust the people I live with to tell the truth.

22/11/2025