Day 31.

Lots of negative thoughts today and chocolate cravings. I must be due my period 😉

An interesting question was asked in our OA group today. Usually i don’t answer as i don’t have the right vocab and don’t feel i speak the language of the programme. The question today was about sugar addiction specifically and how people had tackled it. I felt i could contribute on that subject and tried to be as “OA” as i could – i talked about working a good step 1 (powerless over it) and following an eating plan and treating it as a drug basically. Then two other people replied to the initial question saying that they call on their HP and 1 day at a time stay abstinent from sugar and shared a prayer they say when cravings get strong. And they got loads of heart emojis from other members… I immediately felt stupid and that i would never understand or get the programme… So to prove that point instead of saying a prayer, handing it over to my HP and taking it 1 day at a time, i ate 2 squares of very dark chocolate. Am in the problem not the solution as they say…

will have to see how i feel once the red mist lifts, but I definitely feel like this is all completely beyond my grasp!