Got a Saturday under my belt. Weekends aren’t as easy. The busy-ness of them, the lack of alone time to think and recharge, the social events. I haven’t done any reading of OA literature. I haven’t really checked in with anyone. I almost forgot to say the serenity prayer on waking but remembered just in time and it probably saved my bacon on a few occasions today.

This morning I dropped Child3 off at the gym and had to go and pick up something in town which is opposite my favourite chocolate shop. I even thought I would just nip in there “to get something for the kids”… but as they say in AA, hang around in the barbershop long enough, you’re going to end up getting a haircut. My kids didn’t need chocolate. And I didn’t need to torture myself in the shop or with it at home. I walked past it and gave myself a mental high five.

The Saint had cooked a really healthy lunch and I was feeling cheated. I wanted compensation for avoiding the chocolate. It was haddock with rice and vegetables and i think my food needs are beginning to change – it was delicious and i felt really full!

Child3 wanted to make chocolate dipped marshmallows for dessert so his sister did that with him and the kitchen was full of that beguiling chocolate aroma… thankfully i really don’t like marshmallows so it was easier to steer clear but it did feel like a test. And another one I passed. Child3 asked if i wanted a piece of the chocolate then and I said no. He asked why and i said because I can’t stop at one piece. ‘Okay’ he said!

Then we had the birthday party. The Saint isn’t usually a big drinker, but he did have a fair few pints over the day. The company was lovely – a group of people i don’t really know so this was my normal idea of hell but it was really nice meeting new people and having interesting conversations (now i wasn’t focused on the food or drink!). The food was fairly average and not very copious and again i felt cheated. When we got home i told myself I could eat something else – as compensation, a reward, i’m not sure but i am sure that both those things are no-nos for OA! I did open the fridge a few times but i wasn’t really hungry, what i wanted is out of bounds and so i made sure it stayed out of bounds.

The Saint went to bed at the same time as child3 after an afternoon drinking and I watched a film with child2 and then said my end of day prayer 🙂