Today was a positive day. It started with the serenity prayer. Any coincidence the day was positive after that start…?!

I ate at the canteen at lunchtime and genuinely the only thing I fancied was salmon, rice, broccoli and spinach. Again… coincidence? My HP at work ensuring I do the next right thing…?!

I did a bit of reading over lunch of the Jeffrey Munn book. Interestingly in a book entitled “Staying sober without God” he says “there is no one thing that is an adequate replacement for the concept of God and the word God is used to refer to a multitude of different experiences, phenomena and concepts” so he actually uses the term himself! If he can, then I guess I can. As the 12 steps do say, it’s a God of your understanding. I started to object to the word a little less… (I’m probably going to have to work a resentment in step 4 to get to the bottom of my phobic reaction to organised religion – unless I become born again first!). He did say something interesting too about using the universe as a HP as even that I can’t “feel real” about and he said it can make some people feel small and insignificant (me all over) and so in that case you can use “humanity or a specific community”.

After lunch, I had some spare time so I decided to connect to the French OA meeting at 1pm, a meeting I’ve never been to (as I’m usually eating, go figure…). Today’s theme of the meeting was sponsorship. I swear my HP has been hard at work today!! I sat and listened and had one of those lightbulb moments, where I realised the sponsor wasn’t the problem, I was the problem (fancy that!). She’s fine with my secular beliefs. I’m not okay with her religious ones. She used the word God but as in “your God”, not necessarily hers. I was focusing on the problem not the solution when I laid out my plan of action the other day and she was absolutely right to point that out.

I’m overcomplicating the simple programme for complicated people because I am a really complicated person. I’m transferring my character defects to my application of it – perfectionism and black and white thinking.

And now I shall go and say my goodnight prayer 😉

God (of my understanding and whoever yours is) bless!

P.S. I ate three healthy, moderate meals and no snacks.